entry1 (17/10/18)

this 'thoughts' section is my current project

my current distraction

mainly, i want to get the first three parts of the 'truth' series released as a basepoint

i worry about it


i know what i want to say in each piece but they are still hard for me to write

i know they are, right now, not very well-written... and i know im not making myself look like a serious philosopher

looking like i want to be a philosopher is actually something i am pretty afraid of

im convinced of my points and i just want other people to consider them too, not criticise my poor use of big spooky words

i dont intend to write big book of philosophy and have that as the main thing i want to be remembered by - at least not now

ive tried to keep pretentious and philosophical language out of what ive written for the most part

i think people might still criticise me based on things i cant much help

sometimes i type with language that is a little archaic

okay, i guess i can help that, but

its not a facade to make me seem more intelligent, and i say that honestly

it would feel weird to force it out of my writing

sso im not going to apologise for it


i dont measure intelligence by big words and complicated grammar

you can tell from some poems and these lowercase pages, i think

i think language should be as experimental as the writer/ speaker wants it to be

though of course i want to make sense

you can actually give words m o r e meaning when you're not held up on rules - in a few ways


i have done free will and communication at this point

i want to release them only when knowledge is done

and then ill also have to release this and real names and something else

ive got a list of topics i want to write about

the website has really come together

it wont be anything without a book though

a novel and a book of poems

and then theres still so much i want to do


ive lost m y energy

its kind of suffocating here and im bored p:

i feel like id be able to write better if i just left

but the university is so slow sending my documents

ffff


cold and messy

i want to exist


addendum:

the word 'literally' doesnt need to be 'corrected' to say 'figuratively' all of the time

overzealous mothers and grammar snobs 'correct' this all of the time

but the word 'literally' is used figuratively!!

things are figuratively literally a way

and its usually intentional hyperbole... obvious, and meant to be amusing

i think 'figuratively' can make literally any sentence worse

its usually like adding 'just kidding' to a joke

or clarifying that 'raining cats and dogs' is a metaphor


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